White, Asian, and Everything in Between: A Memoir on Transracial Adoption

I am an adoptee. A few days after I turned one, I was whisked away from Yongzhou, China, traversing continents and an ocean until I arrived in the tiny town of Cazenovia, New York. I grew up in a snowglobe: like my new parents, Cazenovia was idyllic yet white. In my early years, although I had convinced myself of my whiteness through assimilation, I could not escape a flurry of racial microaggressions. As I got older, attempts to embrace my Chinese heritage were entangled with a deep-rooted shame for being white-washed. Thus, in regards to my identity, I have always felt stuck between my birth culture and my adopted culture. I cannot escape the sensation that I am too Chinese to be white and too white to be Chinese. This memoir grapples with my experience of living in the liminal. In addition to reading a few excerpts from my memoir, I will discuss the major points of consideration that I encountered throughout the writing process. How can I ensure that I am accurately depicting the essence of these events when memories are colored by the bias of time and perspective? Is the concept of truth even applicable to memories? How do I balance the obligation to myself to no longer censor my emotions with the pressure to fulfill the typical desires of an audience? Is closure necessary in such a work? I attempt to address these questions based on my experience as a novice author.